Tom Mock

NOTE: This is a backlog of my notes from SPFBO9. It may look a little rough. My apologies!

You can read my final thoughts on the contest here: Tom Mock’s SPFBO9’s Opening Reads Final Thoughts | JamReads – Making your TBR closer to infinite

60. Peter Mooren, The Return or Abaddon
    I’m not connecting with this next book. Maybe it was the fake-out dream opening that was more interesting than the waking world. Maybe it’s the prologue that’s actually just ch1.

Maybe it’s the cliché Isekai – and now our character is dead – transition into the fantasy world, or that the transition doesn’t stay with our MC, but changes point of view. The pre-fantasy bit also takes too long.

The titles ch1 seems more interesting than our opening, but to be fair to the other books that I have read less of, I should stop here.

The prose was acceptable, but the beginning fundamentally doesn’t work for me. The combination of psyche-out to boring and cliché that overstays it’s welcome dropped me clear out do the story. Pass.

61. Meredith Hart, HEARTS LOST
    We begin with a character with a fantastic sense of voice. The chapter title has a sense of humor, and promise of something to come. The 1st person present narration is also deftly humorous.

We follow the Acting Captain of the Royal Guard at work managing his steady stream of paperwork. Nothing much happens in the Kingdom of the Fall, he tells us. Even the monsters are a bit of a disappointment.

Maybe this latest message from Head Magician Lythienne will be different. Whatever it is, not once has the magician shared anything that could be considered good news.

Wonderfully, gradually revealing setting, character, and story, the narration moves on at an active but measured pace. This is great stuff, the casual tone juxtaposing with the big fantasy elements.

What is the World Above? What are the Lands Below? How often do people fall through cracks in the world? What could possibly go wrong when the king’s magician is playing with magic that can make hearts disappear?

How much longer is our Acting Captain going to be able to say nothing much happens in the empire? I’ve got to know. This is an instant top of TBR for me. Great opening. I’m in.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/61161262-hearts-lost

62. Olena Nikitin @Olena_Nikitin, Autumn Chaos
    This seems fun, colorful, and does a good job of straight out telling me where we are to begin with so I can get my bearings. There’s a happy witch in the weird woods where no one dares to tread … except suddenly everyone does

The narration doesn’t continue to set the scene, so I have to make assumptions about what’s happening, but b/c this is comedic and is moving along well, I can’t fault it too much. Its lighthearted.

The narrative voice is full of character, and quickly becomes fun to read. Our witch’s “shit you not” curse made me smile.

The dialogue reads well, the story is breezing along. Something is happening in no time and it seems fun. I can’t guess where this is going, and that’s to it’s credit. A fun, witchy, fantasy romance. I’m in.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/61244453-autumn-chaos

63. CD McKenna, The Blood of the Lion
    I’m torn about this next one. While the prose is fairly competent and it begins with action, it is also like watching a bad anime, and where we are and what exactly is happening is vague.

The dialogue isn’t good. It’s cheesy. I don’t believe these two enemy combatants would be having this conversation. It’s almost an attempt at exposition, but falls totally flat.

There are good, grimdark details that create a sense of atmosphere, but a lack of specificity that makes the scene generic. Dark, but not illustrative.

That this is active is helping it along. Even a cliché action anime can be fun. But when a story does things that are actively dumb, it really throws me out of the thing.

Grimdark authors can fall pray to this more often than others, I think, b/c they reach for something hardcore like the MC breaking his leg, but if all he did was step backwards into some mud, it reads as try-hard and silly.

This was a prologue and now we’re actually starting the story hundreds of years later. This probably has something for fans of grimdark, but the opening isn’t thoughtfully constructed. Pass.

64. Cassidy Faline @GalasiaSeekai, The Awakening Fire
    This has a lovely beginning. Quiet, full of promise, a dreamer who loves to read of the gleaming steel ruins of the cities of the Ancients and longs to go beyond the Adamantine Wall to see them himself.

It only the people of today could live by the laws of the Ancients, Hiero thinks. Some may call them the Blood Laws of tyrants, but the thought of their absolutist punishments for all crimes makes Hiero weep.

This is perfect. A truly wonderful beginning. Our protagonist is immediately complicated. He is gentle, but his desires are severe.

When something is as good as this, it’s hard to talk about without repeating what amounts to “wow.” This is a wow beginning. The talent in this blog-off is really something.

The Awakening Fire is Cassidy’s debut. It currently has 16 ratings on Goodreads. Now is your chance to read it before everyone else is talking about it. Only $2.99. I bought it. I’m in!
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/63334596-the-awakening-fire

65. Zack Bel, THE NIGHTINGALE PRINCE
    A fun chapter title to start a book can really charm me, but this feels written a bit too young for me. It starts as a children’s book? But then the writing ages up with our MC?

It begins to feel stylistically like a YA novel at most. Plain, straightforward prose. I felt like this. We went here or there. It isn’t spending too long on anything, but the story doesn’t really start until halfway through ch2

I read that far because the chapters were short and I was trying to get a hold of what I was reading. The story jumps forward through time 20+ years from one chapter to the next.

The scene details are good and ground me in the moment, but the moment isn’t very interesting and overstays it’s welcome, not to mention is written quite young.

There’s things that are good here, but I’m underwhelmed by the prose and especially the story. Pass

66. Rose khan, Centernia
    This seems interesting, but some more establishing details would greatly help me understand what is happening. I’m a few pages in and putting the pieces together now, but it hasn’t been a smooth experience.

Genericism can be useful if you want to pass over something briefly, but if a “drunken figure” is going to do something in the scene, it will help your reader picture what’s happening if you give them some more descriptions.

For instance, if he’s a tiger man, it would be good to tell be that right away, especially since it helps bring me into the setting. It doesn’t help to obscure what makes your story interesting.

There is a section of establishing exposition early on, but there’s too much and not enough at the same time. What were given doesn’t explain much, instead raising more questions than it answers, & not in an enticing

This is a strange, eclectic world, and I think that is to the book’s credit. It may even remind me a little of Nimona, but with cat people. I say may, because I feel like the world is largely out of focus

I see dirty streets and cat people, and there is a tavern and some slop, a record player, but that’s it. Are there horses, cars, trains – I don’t know. Electric lights or gas lamps? No idea.

The opening two scenes also don’t introduce our story yet. They’re just busywork for our MC as our author unevenly introduces exposition through narrative and dialogue.

This story could prove to be really interesting. The author is definitely taking some big swings creatively. I just don’t feel like I know what I’m reading. The opening is weak. Pass.

67. Mandy O’Dell, WITCH STONE
    What a fun beginning to what promises to be a YA fantasy with a great sense of voice. The narration is clear and inviting as we meet our mother and daughter witches out in a storm harvesting lightning.

Rossi isn’t any ordinary teen witch, though. She was born with a diamond in only one palm instead of two, diminishing her potential power. If she even tries to harvest lightning, it fries her like a bug.

Our 1st person POV has one of the best voices I’ve read this blog-off. It reminds me of a kind of fantasy Wonder Years, without the “back when I was young” framing. (Maybe that reference is too dated.)

The dialogue is natural and helps build the world and introduce the characters every bit as much as the narration, which has a dry, deadpan humor to it that is right on the money.

This opening is measured, engaging, and full of promise. Rossi’s life is about to change, and I can’t wait to find out how (as well as meet her Troll friend, Pitty). I’m in!
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/75699699-witch-stone

Any YA/MG (and Adult, for that matter) fantasy writers would do themselves a favor by taking a look at how well O’Dell introduces readers to her story and characters. This one was a treat to read.

68. Daniel J Lyons, THE PATH TO VIHAAN
    There’s a distinct anime-school-days influence to this next book. I think that’s too it’s credit. It’s nice to read different kinds of fantasy. But … there’s a lack of focus to the beginning.

If this proves to be a low-stakes read, that’s fine, but the book is spending too much time in flashbacks too early.

I think early on in a novel it’s better to give us the exposition straight on instead of packing it into dialogue in a flashback with a character who will not be relevant for a few chapters, or ever.

Just telling your reader things they need to understand can be a wonderful exercise in brevity.

The prose here is competent enough otherwise. If someone handed me this LGBTQ novel and said “I really enjoyed this,” I would read on, but b/c of the artificial nature of this read through, I’ll pass.

69. Lisa Vandiver, Mystic Mist
    This has a middle grade quality to the writing and the setting of the story. The prose plods along through an enchanted wood. We don’t hear anything about what that means, tho.

The exposition (and most of this opening is exposition, not narration) meanders. A character is produced, but then quickly abandoned for more exposition about a place he has t reached yet.

We come back to our character pages later for some family chatter before something happens, but the writing style does not seem to differentiate between hum-drum exposition and violence. Pass.