The Mesozoic | Cthoma’s Fate |
Rejoice! An author returned my inquiry with a copy of her opening, and I wanted to read more of it. Another terrific opening caught my eye. This concludes the Captured In Words group!
(from Captured In Words)
160. Demetria Meltinos Dreams, The Mesozoic: Creatures of the Malignant Thicket
A dinosaur killed her father, but a plucky young woman still maintains a rare empathy for the creatures compared to the inhabitants of her walled city surrounded by dangerous wilds.
Although Demi is revisiting this novel in anticipation of the release of a second, she was kind enough to send me the existing draft to review the opening. No telling what may change, but my reaction to the story is positive.
I’m reminded of Fourth Wing meets Horizon Zero Dawn as I read the present tense, third person narrative. Our female MC is young, tough, compassionate, and not afraid of conflict.
Everyone in this city lives in a world of danger where huge predators and lumbering, easily frightened herbivores are just beyond the wall (and sometimes inside it), but she’s been out in the wild alone.
She doesn’t share her neighbors prejudice. She isn’t afraid like they are. She even continues to venture out alone after her fathers death. This was the character turn that really drew me in.
It was unexpected and completely refreshing. I had thought the gruesome prologue of our MC’s father’s death would be the prelude to hatred, fear, revenge, or merely an expedient establishment of a threat.
When, in the very next scene (ch1) our MC rushes to the aid of a small injured dinosaur battered by local children, I was delighted to find that I was reading a much more complex character and thoughtful story than I imagined.
I was on the fence about the prologue at first. I don’t think it’s as strongly written as it could be. But the turn from trauma to compassion has been the hook in this opening for me.
The safe haven, walled city in a wold of more stars is a subgenre onto itself, and while I’ve loved all sorts of dinosaur movies ever since I was a kid, I didn’t expect that somewhat more mundane threat to be as interesting as this story manages to make it.
I think this is because they are not just monsters. Our MC and her late father are like scientists in their cataloguing and explorations among the dinosaurs. They aren’t just a threat, they’re living things.
All this together with a charming friendship our MC shares with a strong female guard captain type who may be getting promoted, which in turn may sadly change their relationship, and the allusion to odd behavior among the dinos outside has me hooked.
Be on the lookout for Demetria’s rerelease of this title. Maybe she’ll even let me know when it’s out so I can feature it again. Anyway, this seems fun. I really liked the unexpected heart! I’m in.
161. Jeffrey A Smith, Cthoma’s Fate
Every year an assassin who failed to fulfill a prophecy by killing the emperor is summoned to court to be ritualistically humiliated by the story of that failure within sight of the skulls of his co-conspirators.
This first person narrative starts at a crucial moment – the minutes before our MC is paraded before court for his (verbal only) humiliation – and so it feels active and serves as a fine introduction.
We get to know the MC by what he says and does and thinks, and we learn about the immediate world around him largely through inference. This is good! There’s no lore dumping, no drawn out descriptions, no slog of exposition.
We only learn what is absolutely crucial to understand the scene. I find that works well to create a sense of depth to the events and characters. Much has already happened, and most of it seems terrible.
This beginning reminds me of the end of Zelazny’s first Nine Princes of Amber book wherein the prisoner protagonist is brought out for a celebratory meal once every year or so to show him off to anyone doubting the rule of the regent before sequestering him again in his blind wretchedness.
Our failed assassin protagonist, however, is not harmed. He’s allowed to walk free. He’s paid for his attendance. These things all create a wonderful sense of mystery that compels me to read on.
Why wasn’t our assassin slain? Why does he walk free? He still seems to have 9 rings of power that he has been allowed to keep. Can he not take them off? Is he of no danger to the emperor? How did we get here? It’s engaging.
Several unobtrusive character details also made this opening stand out to me. Without undue explanation, it is clear that at least the ranked officials and courtiers all wear their beards long in this empire. Our MC deliberately doesn’t.
He’s set apart, as is a bizarre, almost inhuman advisor in their appearance. Nothing is over explained, and that lends this opening a feeling of oh so strange wonder. There is a subtle magic in it.
What is less subtle is the dialogue. The emperor’s humiliating recitation of the attempt on his life all those years ago fell flat for me. It lacked grandeur and felt plodding and a bit vague. At least it establishes some minor details, and is brief enough.
Our MC’s derisiveness (when he believes he can get away with it) is to good effect, however. It speaks to his discomfort. It’s a good psychological defense mechanism.
That a pair of court guards play into this derisiveness and feed him lines so that he can respond oh so derisively diminished the effect of this opening for me.
There’s nothing about their exchange that I can say is wrong motivational, but there is something to it that felt too easy. It is designed to make our MC look indifferent and cool because he talks shit to the guards who get upset.
But this doesn’t seem to fit with the circumstances or tone of the larger scene. It’s cliché, while the rest of the chapter feels unique.
If this criticism seems harsh, that’s only because of how engaging I found much of the rest of this opening. It doesn’t waste any time, and our MCs circumstances feel extremely dangerous.
He is a special character in this world. He stands apart. He is a failure, and, I suspect, a traitor to his cause. What will he do next? So much of this opening demands I keep reading to find out. Whatever my qualms (and they may only be mine), I’m in!
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/205866591-cthoma-s-fated
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Tom Mock 
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