Tom Mock

A Curse Within The Waves | Dual Fires
A pirate quest with a young female MC hooked me fast and kept me turning the pages. A second opening left me wondering what was happening.
(from Captured In Words)

141. BN Reele, A Curse Within The Waves

This 3rd person fantasy adventure features 1st person diary entries from our female MC that do a nice job of establishing her voice while seeming distinct from but still at one with the narration.

This is an active beginning that does a concise job of establishing tone and character. It begins in motion, and stays in motion, with good dynamics between minor disasters aboard the ship and personal inconveniences for our MC.

The tone is light and engaging with a great emphasis on story that makes this opening feel like a page turner. It’s a quick opening chapter that pulls me along into chapter 2 with ease.

Our MC has complaints about her situation, and I find that charming. She’s with her father, a pirate, and I find that intriguing. All the names of the crew have a ring to them, but none more than our protagonists pet parrot Plank. What fun.

The success of this opening, I think, is that it simply doesn’t try to do too much. It doesn’t try to tell the reader everything about the ship or the characters or where they set sail from or why. It is focused, brief, but engaging.

It could have done a little bit more to set the stage, especially in light of a tantalizing prologue about a dangerous island treasure that I don’t quite know how this moment is related to.

Was it 18 years ago? Was it 11 days ago? I’m really not sure. No mention has yet come back into the story of a hunt for treasure – just pirating.

But, I find myself turning the pages to find out more, not because I’m confused, but because I want to know what happens next. That’s everything.

We do learn a few details specific to the world of our pirates from our MCs pov: women aboard a pirate ship is seen as bad luck. There’s real danger in the far off places, like sirens, etc. Some of the pirates stink – bleh!

This seems like a fun fantasy sea adventure that more readers should give a chance, especially fans of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. I sense Reele has an innate sense of the rhythms of story. I’m in!

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/210669109-a-curse-within-the-waves

142. JL Anderson, Dual Fires

I wanted to read more of this opening after the first chapter, but mostly to find out if the narrative was going to explain more about the setting and just what exactly the magical abilities are that it’s already shown me.

I’m torn. The style is unique, if maybe somewhat antiquary. It isn’t unpleasant. There might even be something akin to Ray Bradbury in the writing. There is a certain Sci-Fi fairytale quality here.

There is a gee-golly, Apple pie, 50s nuclear family – not in fact, just on the style of their behavior. Our 14 year old mc behaves like a much younger, more innocent youth. His parents are affable. Almost blissful.

So what am I torn about? I think it’s everything I don’t know. There’s very little scope to this opening. There’s very little detail.

I know almost nothing about the setting or who these characters are. Our boy is a boy. He’s at school. What kind of school? Well, you know, the kind you and I are familiar with. A school where boys go where there are bullies who take your shoes.

His parents are a physician and an academic. That sounds completely modern. He lives in a house that has some kind of kitchen and his mother makes dinner. Fine! All fine. Generic, maybe, but fine.

But then there is this light magic stuff that our MC’s people can do, as opposed to this dark magic stuff (?) the bad people can do. This seems like the most important thing this opening needs to establish. It doesn’t, tho.

We hear something vaguely about the other people, but not who they are, or where they are, or what they do, or why they’re the enemy. I’m not even really sure what our MC’s magical abilities are, tho I’ve seen them.

The opening chapter ends rather abruptly, and although I do feel like there was something interesting on the page, I feel this has just fallen short.

I’m tempted to read on, but mostly out of confusion, sadly. The narrative may settle into itself in the coming pages and be a fun, light read, but I’m judging openings here, so I pass.

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