historical fantasy, adult, west Asian, contemporary |
The orphaned son of an enchantress with nothing to his name but simple weapons and a spell laid on him to prevent any wound or scar seeks to enter the army of the king … who looks mysteriously familiar.
This 3rd person, dialogue driven opening was remarkably absorbing. I have rarely read a scene with more dramatic action in such a short space and with the characters largely standing still. That’s an accomplishment.
An adage in screenwriting is to “get into the scene late and get out early!” This 1st chapter does this with exciting precision. There’s something wonderfully theatrical about it. The curtain of page 1 goes up, and we’re plunged headlong into the drama.
It is focused, the prose is clear and descriptive, and the dialogue comes from characters who want something both immediately and at a level more central to who they are. No time is wasted. No sentence drawn out. This builds and builds in its intrigue from the start.
We learn a little about the world of our story with each page – the west Asian attire, the kings soldiers with their jeweled weapons, the Great Sage living secludedly, the ruins of the city where our MC has made a temporary home – it all swirls by as the action of the scene develops
Why does this king seem familiar to our MC? What trail awaits him to join the army? The jolt that goes through the room when our MC declares his magical enchantment is palpable. What will it mean for the story ahead?
I read on to find out, and something totally unexpected happens that only draws me even deeper into the narrative – we cut to contemporary life. Bickering adult siblings, our MC a new teacher, ordinary modern family chit-chat. Where IS this story going??
My thoughts swirl with then possibilities thinking of beloved time travel anime like Inuyasha. Suddenly it feels like anything is possible in this dynamic story. It continues to be totally absorbing.
By the end of ch 1, the life of its MC has irrevocably changed (read this for yourself to learn how). How will the life of our ch 2 MC similarly change, and how will his story intersect with the narrative of Ch 1?
I have to know more. This is too competent, too well-paced, and too unique to put down. The under 200pg count gives me hope that this story will continue to be as focused as its beginning. I’m sold. I bought it. I’m in.
Published in 2022, this has an impossible ONE rating on Goodreads. That seems criminally overlooked and underrated. Download the sample. Have a look! I promise your imagination will be enriched by it.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/62628525-the-banished-secret
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Tom Mock 
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