Tom Mock

2 terrific and distinctly different fantasy romances. The 1st is exquisite, measured, sober, fun, sapphic, with a mature sensibility. The 2nd is teen anime, over-the-top dramatic, possibly subversive, & dark. What a pair!

103) Cara N Delaney @CaraD_author, Tomb of Heart and Shadow

I found the 3rd person close alternating pov of this opening wonderfully rendered. There is a consistent style, yet the voices manage to be distinct in feel. It has been a pleasure to read.

The narration has a quiet competence that draws the reader in. It is focused and subtle and always revealing of character. This has been one of those openings that I would have kept reading all day for the prose alone.

Grounding sensory details don’t merely set the scene; they are integral to our understanding of our MCs. Heated stones glow warm. The sound of our MCs footsteps sink into the black stone of her home. The sound of the river is muted below. The quiet used to be comforting. It isn’t now.

There’s a suggestion of diminishing and stifling about the details surrounding our 1st MC. The fantastical fire lights are cold. She is secluded in her study, shut up in her home. The nearby families are all inside now that the summer is over. Even the life of the river is far away.

All these details conspired to a unifying mood of loneliness and of a remove that informs our sense of the MC by association. It is terrifically mature writing.

This is how you show instead of tell. The effect creates a felt experience in the reader rather than just information that is filed away about a character. It is art coming alive.

I’m not a bit surprised to find this kind of technical mastery on display in a fantasy romance, because it’s a genre that, for all the tropes it may play with, is focused most of all on its characters.

I would have liked to know more about our first MC. I do not know what she is working hard at amongst all her papers, for instance. I am only guessing that she is an academic because that seems appropriate to her work. But what her study is, I have no idea.

This would have been a wonderful window into the world of the story as well as our MCs interests.

The opening also stops short of completing its introduction of our MC. Despite my very real sense of her isolation, I don’t yet know why she feels this way. The text alludes to something having changed, but it does not reveal what.

It alludes to a family that is no longer I. The neighborhood. Our MC begins to reflect, I think, on the cause of her sorrow, but then stops herself. This also cuts off the possibility of our understanding her.

I can’t say there is anything wrong with delaying this reveal. It doesn’t feel wrong to me. But I do wonder at the choice. I cannot see a benefit to withholding the information. It limits my sense of our MC and my sense of the story to come.

When the chapter ended and the pov switched, I was caught off guard. “But we’ve only just started,” I thought. “Where’s the rest? What’s this all about?” Oh well.

This wasn’t enough to stop me from reading on. Far from it! The next MC has been just as wonderfully rendered. She seems charming and lively and earnest.

I’m delighted by the competence of this opening. It’s high society families and studious, intelligent female leads remind me somewhat of a Jane Austin novel. At just over 300pgs, I have high hopes for its continued focus. I bought it. I’m in!

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/201843204-tomb-of-heart-and-
shadow

104) R Litfin @R_Litfin, The Chronicles of Royal High: The Lost Noble

There’s some kind of magical item at play in this prologue, and though our victim won’t reveal its location, that seems like an excuse for our slighted evil lord, only a few years older himself, to torture the poor boy.

This is melodramatic, stylistically overwritten, and thoroughly engaging. It starts in motion and stays in motion straight through the prologue.

It hints at much, making the reader wonder just how we got here and just what it’s all about. But there’s clearly history between the characters, and seeing how it unravels should be fun, especially for teen readers.

The romance is, I suspect, the girl our boy love who, thankfully, has not been rounded up by his torturer. If this is a girl saved price in dungeon story instead of the typical imprisoned princess trope, that would be a fun subversion.

I think the pace of this works in its favor. Perhaps it could have been tighter, but its opening is driven by dialogue and ghoulish imagery – at least suggested imagery. There are pained screams and torture devices, but this manages not to be very gruesome at all.

The comic-book-level heightened tone has made this opening stand out for me, along with the uniqueness of its fantasy elements so far. I would throw this at any young reader of fantasy and especially anime in a heartbeat. I’m in.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/38897117-the-chronicles-of-royal-high